The day I was born my mom refused to hold me
Didn’t even wanted to look once at the face of her baby
Grandma took me then, carried me home 'cause I was so little
Meanwhile, mommy entered the mental hospital
On a wheelchair, unable to move, under major depression
Cause she couldn’t believe how she got a kid from her rapist
I opened my eyes to the world and faced the starving session
Cause the money was gone, my father took it all
Mom didn’t give me milk, grandma had no food
That's how she took me in her arm and walked on the streets
Looked around and fed me with things people already chewed
Heart issues, breath struggles, cables around my neck
Grandma could only give me hot water with some sugar
Wondering how she would pay the next paycheck
But she always found a way to make my stomach fuller
Mom wanted to see my father but she was in therapy
She wrote notes behind my baby pictures and send them over
„Dear daddy, I am your daughter, don't you want to see me?“
Grandma borrowed clothes from the neighbor's kid
Put them on me so I looked cute for my daddy
The first time he came to see me, blood run over my eyelid
He stood above the stairs and pushed the stroller down with his baby
Yeah I have that memory marked on my face forever
Cover it with different shapes of makeup in the morning every day
Daddy was a criminal, fucking around with some Russian chicks
In and out of jail, running around in a leather jacket
He was a real threat, grandma decided to hide me away
Mom came out, had a job, could even buy me a nice blanket
Life was getting better, my birthday was a celebration
Called over friends and family what a blessing
Suddenly the door knocked, daddy came out on probation
He attacked the party, voices, screaming, yelling, messing
Pulled a gun out of his pocket, jumped over to get me
Yeah last time I saw him he really tried to kill me
When I try to remember his face, I see that weapon too
In the labyrinth of my brain, that’s my oldest, darkest view
Saved last minute by the policemen rushing through the door
My birthday cake and everything was on the floor
They stepped on my three candles with their boots
Couldn't even make a wish I wonder what that would be
They put handcuffs on daddy before he shoots
Arrested him but mom was already on her knee
She asked the police to let her lover be free
And that’s where the story has a surprising twist
Cause mom was addicted she could never resist
She didn’t want me to grow up thinking she is the one to blame
That father was put behind bars but for him, I was a moral shame
Damn that fact really makes me even angrier I'm pissed
Dad run away, involved with the mafia, I never saw him again
Growing up thinking another man is my dad
He was good at first but then got really toxic
Mom kept him cause without a husband she was just always sad
I hated her until I found out she needed protection cause she was sick
She didn’t tell me about my real father that was a big secret
Called the new guy her daddy too so I learned from her
Wanted me to get into the bathtub with him to play but asked very discreet
After boarding school, I was beaten up by my own mother
Telling me that I look like my criminal father
That I got his bad behavior, I even got his ability to tell lies
I got his nose, his ears, his hair, his eyes
Pink barbie house turned red when blood run down from my busted lip
When I was sixteen friends bullied me and called me a bastard
My body was covered in scarves, wounds, some still plastered
Your father is not your real father, your real father is looking for you
He will come and get you and shoot up your head
That's the moment that changed my life, the day I found out the truth
So many questions in my head but I could finally understand
Why mommy never loved me and the great scenario she planned
Scared for my life everyday walking on my way to school
A mobbing victim, patient of chronic anxiety, a suicidal little fool
What if dad shows up and truly really bothers me
Man I'm too young that's not how my death should be
I couldn't handle it, I made a decision, end up swallowing every other pill
But things got worse when it made me wake up in the hospital very ill
I went to my grandmother's house, the place where I grew up
Nobody was home, so time for me to show up
I noticed something under the bed, four suitcases filled with letters
„Come and find me, don’t believe in what they say“
My father wrote me with some pictures of us together
Grandma kept those papers from the prison and a portray
Damn I look so much like him, the genes that we share
As a teenager, I stood hours in front of the mirror
Trying to straighten the curls out of my black hair
Cause daddy was an Arab and stepfather was a white
That's why he abused me too almost every other night
I run away barefoot from my aggressive parents
Worked hard, build a life and a home with my own hands
I'm thankful for every moment, today these sufferings are my true presents
On my birthdays I don’t even make wishes cause I have some bigger plans.